I mean, that is basically what Joe Biden said isn’t it? It’s the “patriotic” thing to do, remember? He said that about paying taxes back in 2008 when he and Mr. Obama were running to fundamentally transform America. 1 So to be good patriots, I’m assuming we’re all not only paying our fair share but we’re all going the extra mile this year and paying double what we owe to the federal government. Right?
Well, I don’t expect everyone to be patriotic. I certainly don’t expect those Tea Partiers or Republicans or anybody else who didn’t see the wisdom in voting for the Obama-Biden ticket to pay double, or even to pay just a little bit more. Besides, those people are all just racists anyway. I mean, they call Obama bad names like “socialist” so they must be racist, right?
But I am confident that all patriotic Democrats can stand up and proudly say that this year they will be paying… What? What’s that you say? You’re a Democrat and you don’t want to pay double either? But what about what Joe Biden said? I mean, you do agree with your own Vice-President, don’t you? You know, that it’s the patriotic thing to do? Ok, well, how about just 30% more? No? 25% more? 10% more? All right, well forget you guys then.
Ok, Liberal Democrats! Here we go! All right, all you Liberal Democrats out there! You guys are the heart and soul of the Democratic Party. The party faithful! Surely, you’d be willing to pony up at least… What? Not even you guys? I mean, c’mon, you guys are liberals! Don’t you practice what you preach? What about government being able to solve all our problems? Help the needy and all that good stuff. C’mon, they’re here to help us and they need your money. The government needs your money! I mean c’mon guys, you’re supposed to be liberals! C’mon! All right, forget you too!
Ok, ok. Progressive Democrats! Surely, I can count on you guys! I mean, it is called the Progressive income tax! I mean, this is your baby! Now, I just know that you guys will … What? Not even you? Obama’s your guy! He’s a Progressive! You know, spread the wealth and all that! I just can’t believe…
Wait a minute…
Wait, a news bulletin: The news is reporting on who pays taxes in America. What? Over 50% of all Americans don’t even pay federal income tax! What? That can’t be! Well, those definitely wouldn’t be Obama supporters, I know that! Because that would be like saying they don’t support what he’s doing with all his big government programs and such. That wouldn’t be patriotic! And that would be hypocrisy. No, I can’t believe that. I won’t believe that, even if it’s true. Ok, but let’s say it is true that over half of all Americans don’t even pay federal income tax. Let’s think about this for a minute. So you’re saying we now have a majority of Americans who can vote for policies that they don’t have to pay for, but that a minority of Americans do have to pay for? Let’s see, is that a good thing for a democracy? Huh. I’m gonna have to think about that one a little more and get back to you.
Ok, what about just Democratic members of Congress? Surely, you guys must pay more than your fair share. I mean you vote for this stuff, so you definitely… I mean just to set an example… wait a minute, who am I kidding? Ok, ok, just Joe Biden then. Joe, you’re the one who said paying taxes makes you a patriot, so you must pay way more than… What? Not even you, Joe? But Joe, these were your own words! Joe! Joe! Say it ain’t so, Joe!
Wow! Oh well. And here I thought we were a nation of patriots. I guess not. I guess we’re all just a bunch of unpatriotic, racist, extremist, tea-bagging traitors. And if you disagree with me, then you must be one too.
Fn. 1: For Biden’s statement: