Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Gem of the Year: Gray Lady Gone Senile

December 31, 2010

What used to be a newspaper called the New York Times recently proclaimed that Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart is arguably today’s Edward R. Murrow, the renowned broadcast journalist.

While this may seem remarkable, in related stories the New York Times has made similar comparisons as follows: Rachel Maddow is today’s Walter Cronkite; Adam Sandler is today’s Clark Gable; Rosie O’Donnell is today’s Marilyn Monroe; Nancy Pelosi is today’s Thomas Jefferson; and Paris Hilton is today’s Joan of Arc. Oh, and of course, Barack Hussein Obama is today’s Jesus Christ.

I would add one more to their list: the New York Times is today’s Mad Magazine.

Gem of the Week: Scientists Report Discovery Of “Liberal” Gene

October 30, 2010

Scientists have reportedly discovered the existence of a “liberal” gene in human beings. 1   It apparently controls a very small but—in liberals—highly active area of the brain known as the hippo-liberalis-jak-assis which is responsible for naïveté, gullibility, impulsiveness, stubbornness, irrational behavior, wasteful spending, the predisposition to be misled by charismatic people, and just all around stupidity.

So finally, we have an explanation for this disease that seems to afflict so many Americans.  And the really good news is that scientists are now working on a cure which they expect to have widely available in all fifty states this November 2nd



Fn. 1:

Gem of the Week: The Right to Disneyworld!

April 23, 2010

Tourism is now a human right in Europe!  Yep!  Not simply the right to move freely or travel about, but the right, if you are a European, to demand of your government a taxpayer-subsidized vacation to somewhere like, say, Disneyworld!  Euro-Disney, that is.  Wow, Europe must be such a wonderful place!  But where-oh-where do they get all that free money from?  I mean it must grow on trees over there!  Or maybe the Europeans who work at all the amusement parks, hotels, resorts and other vacation spots just work for free.  Not to mention all the folks working on the planes, trains, buses, etc. that are needed to transport everyone who chooses to exercise their new free tourism right.  Oh well, I’m sure they’ve got it all figured out.  Besides, who cares when it’s a free vacation!

With the big debate over here being about whether there is even a right to healthcare, those fancy European Union folks must think we’re just a bunch of heathens.  You can almost hear them in Brussels saying, “Healthcare a right? Oh, mon dieu! Of course that is a right!  We’ve wrapped that one up and given it to our peoples long ago, Messieurs.  Even Hitler and Stalin knew that! What is it with you provincial Americans and your so-called Natural Laws anyway?  No wonder we kicked you out.  Ignorant philistines!”

The Griswolds in Europe

Ah, yes.  It would indeed appear that the wise men and women of Europe have “progressed” to bigger and better things.  The Times Online reports that the European Union has formally declared that tourism is now a human right and that “pensioners, youths and those too poor to afford it should have their travel subsidized by the taxpayer.”  According to EU Commissioner for Enterprise and Industry, Antonio Tajani, “Travelling for tourism today is a right. The way we spend our holidays is a formidable indicator of our quality of life.”  According to Tajani’s spokesman: “Why should someone from the Mediterranean not be able to travel to Edinburgh in summer for a breath of cool, fresh air; why should someone from Edinburgh not be able to travel to Greece in winter?”  1

And why not indeed?  Well, I guess they always have been a few steps ahead of us over there.  I for one will not be completely happy (as is my right) until everyone has a right to a mansion and a yacht and a Maserati Quattroporte and, oh yes, a free lap-dance from that Taiwanese stripper I met the other night.  Now that’s what I call exercising a natural right!


Fn. 1:  To view the full Times Online article, click here:

For a related post on this topic, link to:

Gem of the Week: Sean Penn Unplugged

March 15, 2010

Poor Sean Penn has been having a tough time of it lately. 

A few weeks ago the actor was charged with battery and vandalism in connection with (an alleged) attack on a photographer last fall.  It could land him up to eighteen months in jail!  Ouch!

Then there’s all the criticism he’s been receiving for those untoward comments he made about journalists needing to be jailed for calling his good buddy, Venezuelan Dictator Hugo Chavez, a dictator.

Then just a few days ago, he had a dust up with a journalist over what he considered to be an inappropriate question.  Her question concerned an earlier statement Penn had made that critics cynical about his do-good works as a celebrity should “die screaming of rectal cancer.”  She was scolded by Penn and his publicist and escorted from the room.

Poor, poor Sean Penn.  Was ever a man more misunderstood?  Well, this is only a suggestion, but maybe Mr. Penn would be better off if he moved to Venezuela.  There, he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone calling Mr. Chavez a dictator, and he wouldn’t ever have to worry about being bothered with pesky questions from journalists or having his picture taken ever again.  And neither would we.

The Shallowest Generation

March 11, 2010

So, did everybody watch the Oscars on Sunday?  That’s what I thought.  Well for those of us that did, wasn’t it just great to see that wonderfully talented ingénue, Mo’Nique, accept the Oscar for best performance by an actress in a supporting role?  (Wow, that’s a lot of words for one award!)  And did you catch how fellow directors and former romantic partners (it’s not PC to say husband and wife anymore) James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow were seated right next to each other!  Scandalous!  And did you notice how many times they cut away to George Clooney? (I counted 78).  And what about Miley’s dress? OMG!  Anyway, it goes without saying we’ll all always remember where we were and what we were doing during these precious moments: sitting on the couch watching TV.

Currently, there are some fifty separate annual awards shows involving more or less the same few hundred people.  Here is just a partial list:

The Academy Awards (The Oscars)

The Golden Globe Awards

The SAG Awards

The Daytime Emmy Awards

The Primetime Emmy Awards

The Grammys Awards

The Tony Awards

The MTV Movie Awards

The MTV Video Awards

The BET Awards

The ALMA Awards

The AMA Awards

The Bravo A-List Awards

The Critic’s Choice Awards

The People’s Choice Awards

The Teen’s Choice Awards

The Kid’s Choice Awards

And the list goes on.  By the time all of these awards shows are finally done with, it’s time to start them back up again!  Moreover, just about every participant receives some kind of an award, thus fulfilling the liberal maxim: “everybody gets a trophy.”  It has reached the point now where the awards manufacturing industry is the greatest contributor to national GDP!

Clearly, the professional self-admirers (the actors, directors, editors, wardrobe designers, make-up artists, etc.) who attend these countless awards ceremonies, and the media that adores them, are all in desperate need of a little perspective.  Their job is to entertain.  And yes, some of them do that job well. But they’re not curing cancer, or winning wars, or flying airplanes.  They are in the business — the very lucrative business — of entertainment. Whether or not they ever actually understand that is, frankly, not important to me.  What is sad, however, is that the culture of modern America has come to be defined by these nattering nabobs of narcissism. Having these self-absorbed glitterati play the role of cultural court jesters in America is one thing, but handing the entire kingdom over to them is quite another.  Our culture, when you think about it, is all that we have.  It is everything that we are about.  It defines us.  If we lose our culture, or if it becomes so base and worthless that it is as good as lost, then we are really nothing.  It is a troubling thought that another age a thousand years from now may be bound to look back upon our own and describe it thus: “Never throughout mankind’s history have such a self-centered people congratulated themselves so much for so very little.”

And so to put things in their proper perspective, I rank as the greatest moment in Oscar history to be when Marlon Brando, having won the best actor award for his Godfather performance, turned it down by boycotting the ceremony and sending instead American Indian activist Sacheen Littlefeather, in full Apache dress.  One might say this was the first of the tedious political statements by another self-righteous actor, but Brando wasn’t like that.  Quite obviously he was poking a big fat finger right into the twinkling eye of Hollywood and enjoying every minute of it.  Now that’s entertainment!

Gem of the Week: City Officials Intolerant of Intolerance

February 27, 2010

Miss Beverly Hills Lauren Ashley

Miss Beverly Hills and upcoming Miss California contender, Lauren Ashley, has been publicly condemned by the City of Beverly Hills this week for expressing her views against gay marriage.  According to FOXNews, the Mayor of Beverly Hills and the entire city council were very upset by Ashley’s comments.   Indignant and all aflutter, they let it be known that Beverly Hills has a long tradition of tolerance and, therefore, will not tolerate Miss Beverly Hills’s comments.